Friday, October 31, 2008

And Confusion Reigns Again

Booms and busts, ebbs and flows, ups and downs. How comforting it is to return to that feeling of confusion and enfeebling inferiority, and to know that it will go away again, some time. *sarcasm* Sometimes it changes from day to day; sometimes the funk or the lift of energy will last for weeks at a time. It is just one of those things. We wish we had more control over how we feel; we resent the mystery of the source of our 'bad' emotions, even as we let the positive side wash over us without question. That's a society judgement, since I believe other societies have honored the mysterious origins of both good and bad...
Anyway. Thank you to Nina for turning me from a basketcase into a functioning human bean, as I told her today (yes, I said 'bean' on purpose, relax). And thank you to Brian, who tells me I am his world and that he cherishes my encouraging words. I want to move forward; I want to claim my life. But sometimes a great notion lands on my motivation and I can not push it off. The battle of today is a draw. The momentum forward? must be constantly tended, and I really hope I can at least move on to the next stepping stone to take a rest before continuing (read: find a job)!

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